Superbowl Monday (yes, Monday)

So there I was, leading the party with the kids (pronounced ‘keedz’ in Aussie). It was easier finding chips, cheese, salsa, and the like here in Melbourne (remember…pronounced ‘mel-bin’) on game day than in MI. Just before the game I called another American who was working here. The point of me calling Adam Kline was to rub it in that I was watching the game while he was working. I put the phone up to the TV for the opening kickoff and he got to listen to Chicago return the opening kickoff for a TD. I was his hero. Rats, foiled again. That wasn‘t my purpose! Anyway, to set the stage…..

The TV is loud, as if I had 20-30 people in the room watching the big game. I have got a junk food spread that my dad would have been proud of: three types of Doritos (plain Doritos are the only way to get tortilla chips here), crunchy potato chips, salsa (hot of course), cheese dip, cheese slices, pretzels, and nuts. (I was missing his chex-mix but you can’t have everything). I start frying chicken balls to put into burritos for the lunchtime meal for the kids. When….

Knock, knock, knock. I am standing right next to the door so I open it quickly without thinking. It is the Victorian Apartment Inspector. Turns out they are required to come every three months to make sure tenants are not trashing the place. We had a quick discussion about how I did not receive her letter notifying me of her inspection. She offered to come back. I offered her to inspect then. She said, “No thank you. I’ve seen enough from here.” She left and then it all came together.

I had the TV blasting. Just before the knock I was loudly cheering at the game. I answered the door with no shirt on. The place smelled of smoke because I was frying the chicken. The smoke detectors were hanging from the ceiling because they were going off. The counter was covered in food bags (guys don’t serve chips in bowls - that’s why they sell them in bags). The couch cushions were strewn across the floor for the kids to bounce and play on (Daddy Daycare remember). And, I’m sure to every non-parent the poopy diaper in the garbage created an offensive smell.

So that was my inspection. We haven’t been kicked out yet but I can’t wait until our six month inspection!

The game was much different than it is in the states. We saw very, very few commercials here. Instead we listened to three guys in tee shirts try to recap what a crazy start the game had. They didn’t seem to know much about football and were trying to explain it to Australians who may know even less. The commercials we did see were for local items so they weren’t as creative as the US. Also, this would have been a fun one to go to Glenn Babiak’s party since he is a Chicago Bears fan. But, we didn’t get an invite this year. (Not the first party we were forgotten about. Just because you leave the country people pretend you don’t exist anymore and won’t invite you anywhere).

Now for all you slappies that have harassed me since my college days. The only three artists I have CDs for are Janet Jackson, Rolling Stones, and Prince. My artists have performed at the Superbowl. How about yours? Prince put on a good show didn’t he? No “wardrobe malfunction” but it was good.

After the halftime show, the kids and I went outside to play. We missed the third quarter but made it back for the finish. After the game we went back outside to play again. It kinda sucked though. I had to reapply their sunscreen to go outside after the game. Did any of you have to do that too? It was 75F and very sunny. I squinted the whole time until I put my shades (sunnies in Aussie) on.